Are You?
by Truthfully Lying
Summary: A collection of one-shots for the manga Are You Alice?
1. Chapter 1: Are You Akuma?

A/N: I decided to make a collection of one-shots for the Are You Alice? manga! The first few are the extra chapters, though, before I start making my own. Please read and review! Enjoy~

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Are You Alice? the Duchess would not have died, the March Hare and White Rabbit would end up together, Cheshire Cat and the Duchess would end up together, and Alice would have gotten rid of that annoying 88th Alice already. (After the extra chapter Are You Akuma? of course. I loved her in that one, but only that one!)

* * *

I am Alice.

Actually, I was the 88th Alice of Wonderland, and I was the best one yet, the closest one to becoming the true Alice. Because of that darn Cheshire Cat, though, I became an existance called a 'Regret' that is only able to wander about Wonderland...

But I _definitely_ won't give up!

After all, I'm definitely better than the current Alice of Wonderland! The 89th Alice is just a whiny brat, and he'a guy, too! If it were me by Hatter's side instead of him, it would be a perfect picture! I have no doubt that I'm better than that idiot.

'At any rate, I wonder what it is I'm lacking?' I mused, thinking through my time as Alice. I had been a perfect one, always following the Rules of Wonderland and learning everything fast. I never caused too much excessive trouble for anyone at all, and I didn't argue with people. Unlike the 89th Alice in Wonderland. 'Even though I don't think I'm losing in terms of beauty or brians,' I continued, deep in thought. I was definitely prettier and sexier than the current Alice, and I was also smarter.

However, when I was visting him, the Hatter didn't even turn to glance back at me. It was annoying, and infuriating. He used to be infatuated with me! Or at least, I think he was.

'Even my fashion sense is incredibly perfect!' I complained, ignoring the petite Duchess glaring at me as I read a magazine on her couch. I hated her dress. Black and white... Yuck! What plain colors. When I had offered to help her get prettier, nicer clothes, however, she had the nerve to refuse my goodwill. And that hat she always wore! It was completely ridiculous.

'I set a good impression by showing my underwear... I'm perfectly put together...' I muttered as I cancelled out tips from the magazine. I read a small article and huffed, 'The main point is that even white suits aren't worn to show the absolute honesty of a person! Why don't they just... WHA!' I gasped as my eyes widened.

The flashy headline of the next section read in big red letters: **DEVILISH LOVE TECHNIQUES FOR THE PAMPERED WOMAN** and underneath, in a smaller, slanting font: _You can't create a good mood with your desired man for some reason...? We'll teach you all the Little Devil techniques you'll ever need, so from today onwards, you'll be the only Devil in his life!_ There was a big 'You will definitely catch your intended prey!' on the top. I nearly jumped up in delight when I saw the headline.

'THAT'S IT!' I yelled, jabbing my finger at the page triumphantly.

~.~

'That girl really is too much,' The lithe little Duchess complained to her pet cat in a corner of the room, 'She ahs no self-control at all. She bought a magazine with someone else's money, messed up my living room, jumped on my couch and...'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' The Cheshire Cat apologized, 'I'm sorry since it's my fault she became a Regret. I can't do anything too cruel to a remnant...'

~.~

'I understand everything now!' I declared as I walked towards the Hatter's house, holding the magazine in one hand. 'As Alice, I was too flawless and the Hatter didn't like to protect me. If I master these Little Devil techniques, even the Hatter will fall madly in love with me!'

A romantic scene of the Hatter and I gazing into each other's eyes lovingly appeared in my thoughts and I nearly squealed with happiness. I peeked into the Hatter's window, beaming broadly when I spotted him.' Ah, there he is! There he is!'

'AH! DAMNIT! CUT IT OUT ALREADY!'

I flinched slightly at the current Alice's yells, ducking down before peeking into Hatter's window again when I realized that the shouts weren't directed at me.

'While you're up and about, why don't you bring my my black tea?' The Hatter said calmly*, 'Putting up with your foolish behaviour is absolutely the most boring way for me to spend my old age.'

'THAT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS TO STAY BY YOUR SIDE EVERYDAY!'

'If that's the case, then quickly give up being Alice.'

'Oh dear, they're bickering again,' I mused, 'As I thought; If it's not me by the Hatter's side then it's no good... Oh, well. Let's see what the magazine says!' I flipped open the magazine, scanning the first tip quickly... 'Huh?'

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 1: BE CONFIDENT! **_First, become slightly sharp and pointed. Develop a mean attitude and direct it to the person you're interested in. _

'... Impossible.' I decided, dismissing the first tip quickly and going moving on the second. The first tip did remind me of someone, though...

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 2: MAKE EYES CONTACT! **_Try to break eye contact without warning after only a second. It's all the more effective if you can pretend to be embarrassed. _Wait, that's kinda like...

'Shut up,' The 89th Alice grumbled, glaring directly into Hatter's eyes before quickly looking away exactly a second later, 'Something like easily quitting to be Alice isn't that simple here. You know that better than I do, you idiot.' I gaped for a seocnd before moving on to the third tip. That had been just a coincidence. Yeah, that was it. A total coincidence.

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 3: BE SPONTANEOUS! **_Even if you know something, you should pretend you don't know it. With that alone, you might be seen as a naiive woman with little experience with men, right? _Hey, this was just like...

'Well, I don't really understand it very well,' That blonde-haired Alice's voice interrupted my thoughts, 'Wonderland's Rules are complicated... And I don't understand you, either.'

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 4: SPEAK ELOQUENTLY! **_Try to talk about things other than 'What's expected' and give more than your normal self. And remember, joking about a man being a_ _hero is highly sensitive!_ Wait, what was going-

'Well!' The current Alice declared, 'Even though those Regrets are always following me around, it's still thanks to you that I can feel at ease, Hatter. Well,' He added, 'It's completely what one is expected of if you're a professional killer.'

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 5: ATTRACT POPULARITY!** _Try to plant the idea in your man's head that you have a lot of value. But be warned: If you go overboard, there might be a lot of misunderstandings. _Isn't this what-

'Well... Since I've become such a popular person, the Regrets can't help but cling onto me,' The blue-eyed Alice boasted, 'Being such a popular man is painful... You know, I came to Wonderland just as I was about to make out with someone.'

'Idiot. You're just popular because you're Alice,' the Hatter growled, glaring, 'Don't use trival things as an excuse for being an idiot. If you're trying to become a better Alice, you should put a lot more effort into it, you know?'

**BECOMING A LITTLE DEVIL -TIP 6: AND YET, AS I THOUGHT, HE LOVES CATS! **Huh? What does this mean? I-

'What is it? I stopped a while ago, and yet... I really don't understand your reasons,' The male Alice leaned back in his chair and heaved a sigh, 'The Cheshire Cat is really a little better-'

'UWAAAAH!' I screamed as I tore the magazine apart furiously.

~.~

'Hm? What was that?' Alice asked curiously, staring out the window. The Mad Hatter sighed deeply.

'That Regret is making noise outside again. It's always the same one.'

'...'

'It can't be helped. It's still waiting to see me.'

'Idiot.'

~.~

'WHAT'S WITH THIS!' I cried once I was a safe distance away, 'HE'S SUCH A FLAWLESS LITTLE DEVIL! HE'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AT IT! I can't compare to something like that! But... But I still can't jsut give up on Hatter!' I whined, with tears beaded in the corners of my eyes.

'Alright!' I decided as I flopped onto the Duchess's couch again, this time with a new magazine, 'Next, I'll aim to be a Forest Girl!'

I took a deep breath before burrying myself in the article.

~.~

'Hey, that girl really can't resist doing something, can she?' The Duchess asked curiously, 'I mean, is it really okay for her to go so far for Hatter?'

* * *

* Although he was clearly yelling in the manga, I decided to put it as him saying it 'Calmly' :D


	2. Chapter 2: Are You Anima?

A/N: Hiya! It's the second chapter of my one-shot collection~ I just realized that there's not nearly enough fanfictions for this manga. Well, whatevers! (This one is based off the second extra chapter)

DISCLAIMER: Seriously. If this manga were mine, the Duchess would DEFINITELY survive. Definitely. She's my favourite character... My second favourite is the March Hare XD Funny I like all the side characters...

* * *

'A cat...' The 89th Alice of Wonderland mused, his head supported by his hand, 'A rabbit... A fish...'

'... Alice? What are you doing?' The dark-haired, dark-eyed Mad Hatter asked, holding his cup of tea steadily in his right hand while his left was stuffed into his pockets.

'Ah,' Alice replied, looking up, 'Well, I was just thinking; There are a lot of animal names in Wonderland, huh?'

'Something like that mouse?' Hatter asked, clearly referring to the sleepy Dormouse.

'Yeah. That's... Pretty cool, isn't it?

'... Is that so...?'

'Yeah!' Alice said, suddenly energized, 'For example... Doesn't the Queen of Hearts give off the feeling of a leopard? Maybe a female leopard?' And image of the Queen with leopard ears and tail popped into Hatter's mind and he frowned slightly.

'And then, the Knave is a dog. I'd say a large breed.' Alice continued, his bright blue eyes lighting up.

Ah... The Hatter could cleary imagine this one. The idea of the Knave of Hearts with floppy golden ears, a wagging tail and holding up a sign with the words 'WOOF' written clearly on it made the usually scowling or grimacing Hatter's mouth turn up a bit at the corners.

Alice paused, thinking, then added, 'I think the Duchess is something like a squirrel.'

The image of pouting Duchess with a fluffy squirrel's tail and surrounded with acorns made the Hatter really smile, and he said, 'I see... You came up with something surprisingly clever. So, what would I be?'

'You're a bear.' Alice replied simply.

'Hey, that's pretty cool. So you think I seem like a bear?'

'Yeah. It's because you have those "bags" under your eyes.*'

'...'

The air suddenly turned cold and menacing all of a sudden as the Hatter glared daggers at the seemingly oblivious blonde boy.

Alice groaned suddenly, 'However, it's simple to come up with animals for those guys, but not for someone as vital as me,' He moaned, 'I wonder what animal would suit me best? Naturally... The appearence would have to be cool, proper, cute, and charming!' He ranted as the air behind him got darker and darker, 'The foundation would be that of a meat-eater, but one that is good at depending on others. Something like that... It would seem-'

'I know one animal that would suit you perfectly,' Hatter declared suddenly.

'Huh? Really?'

'A giraffe.'

'... Wha...?'

'Because you're yellow.**'

'Yel-'

'It has been decided,' The Hatter said and sipped his tea calmly.

'UWAAH! WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T DECIDE THAT! I don't understand the meaning! I don't understand something like "Because you're yellow"! I don't have a long neck or lick things with my tongue!'

'AN IDIOT WHO GOES AROUND DECIDING PEOPLE'S ANIMALS BASED ON PUNS DON'T HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING!' Hatter yelled.

~.~

On the streets, a certain smiling feline remarked as he heard the commotion from below, 'Those two have become really close, haven't they?'

'They seem like a pair of mountain monkeys.'

* * *

* This is a pun on the Japanese word, so you probably wouldn't get it in writing...

** Hatter is referring to Alice's hair color here.


End file.
